I know this is not a new subject or idea, but I thought I would share my feelings and opinions about it. The digital perception is how people perceive you or your life online. (Or at least that is my name for it.)
Now, there are things that I love about the internet. I love being able to share parts of my life with you guys. I love being able to have a business page on Facebook, although it is becoming more and more frustrating as they change their algorithms. I love being able to stay connected with friends and family who I otherwise would not see or talk to often. I love being able to share photos of our daughter with friends and family who would not get to watch her grow up.
Then there is the other part of the internet that is soul-crushing and hard to deal with. It seems like everyone around me has a better life than I do. They are getting out of debt faster than we are, or they don’t have debt to start with. They drive newer cars, have newer and fancier furniture or electronics. They have the newest, trendiest wardrobe. They are crafty and have the best decorated houses. This makes me feel like poo. I know that it is just the perception that people put out there. They want others to believe these things about them, and they are doing a good job at it.
I just want to make sure that everyone has a clear view of me.
- If you think I am crafty… I try. I don’t have time for it now, so I am not crafty now.
- If you think my house is organized and neat… I want it to be. My house is usually in some state of a mess. Toys are usually on the floor and dishes are on the counter.
- If you think I am good with money… I am a spender. I have trouble holding on to my MAD money each month and usually spend it on Starbucks coffee.
- If you think I am thin because I work hard… Hate me, but I don’t. I hate working out even though I want to love it, and I hate eating well.
- If you think I love my job… I try. I have wanted to be a teacher my whole life, and I try to remind myself that there has to be some reason that God planted that in my heart, but I question everyday if I am in the right profession.
- If you think I am a crazy busy, great photographer… ha! I still feel like an amateur most days. I am still learning and trying to improve. When I say a month is booked, it means I have one session a weekend or am busy that weekend and can’t book one. I don’t like booking more than one a weekend, or else I don’t have time for my family.
- If you think I am constantly happy and content… why do you think I make so many plans to change? I am always looking at how to change myself to become a different and “better” person. I struggle with being happy and think that if I change something, it will magically make things better. I struggle with SAD, and we are just gearing up to start our short winter days.
- If you think I have my life all together… I wish i did. I feel like I am drowning most days, and I am sure if I actually wrote out my to-do list, it would be longer than I am tall.
So there ya have… I don’t want anyone to have a digital perception of me that is not true. I am not perfect and never will be. I will continue to strive to be happy with my life and myself. I will strive to be content with my situation and where I am in my journey. But I need to accept that I am not perfect… and those people who seem to be perfect… well, they probably really aren’t either.